do you have to be rude?

i can't stand when people are rude.

it's a trigger for me. it pushes my buttons.

it makes my sense of grace fly right out the window.

i hate when people think that a sense of being right overrules a sense of being nice.

when they feel like the world owes them something.

when they think that they're better than someone else.

it's a type of arrogance that makes me mad.

it makes me see red.

it makes me forget i'm a Christian.

and the devil knows that.

and God knows that.

and so the tests keep coming.

the rude people come out of the woodwork.

my patience wears thin.

because the devil wants me to lose my temper.

and God wants me to win the fight.

and sometimes i do win.

but more often i lose.

because i don't see the good in people when they're rude.

i don't see a child of God when they're being ugly.

i don't see the face of Jesus in their arrogance.

but then God doesn't see it in me either.

not when i'm frustrated at them. not when i'm talking about them. not when i'm judging them.

and surely not when i'm trying to get in the last word.

or trying to prove that i'm right.

or worried more about my rights then His request.

because He has asked me to be slow in becoming angry.

He has asked me to be patient.

He has asked me to see the plank in my own eye.

and i do see it but i don't want to admit it.

because if i admitted it, then i'd have to admit that i'm arrogant at times.

i'd have to admit that i'm not always nice.

i'd have to admit that sometimes i'm the rude one.

and i'd hate to admit any of that.

and i think that's why God keeps testing me.

because He needs to get me from where i am to where i need to be.

and in order to change me, He needs me to see the problem.

He needs me to be disgusted with it.

He needs me to hate it enough in others that i refuse to allow it in myself.

because i can't stand when people are rude.

and i can't stand it when i'm rude either.

and God needs someone to change.

and i think He's looking at me.